Ultimate Alpha Boxed Set: A BBW and Wolf Shifter collection Read online

  Chapter 6

  I hide in the bathroom for a while after changing, using paper towels to wipe steam off the mirror, trying to keep the images of Rafe making love to me separate from the images of us fighting a moment ago.

  We’re so close at this point, so close to what both of us want, so why are we also so close to ruining everything we have?

  When I’m done and changed, my hair back in a clean pony tail, I head downstairs, slumping slightly. Both Lindon and Hawthorne are waiting in the living room for me, both with slightly cold eyes.

  “What?” I ask, feeling impatient to hear their feelings, no matter how scathing they may be. I expect that they’re going to tell me I’m unfair, that I shouldn’t have let Rafe go so far, that I should pick one of them now.

  I’m not expecting what happens instead. Hawthorne stands and gestures for me to take the recliner that faces the couches. So I do, giving him a puzzled look. He and Lindon give each other measured looks, as if trying to decide who is going to speak up first.

  “Aspen,” Lindon says, hesitating.

  “Yes?” I ask. I look around the living room. “Where’s Rafe?”

  “We’ll get to that in a minute. What happened between you two?” Lindon asks.

  I fold my arms and sink into the recliner. “None of your business.”

  He sniffs the air and grins. “No, not that part. That part is obvious to all of us. I mean the other part. What happened between you in the bathroom, that made Rafe go tearing out of here like his tail was on fire?”

  “He did?” I ask, puzzled. It’s not like him to lose his cool like that. Even after an intense argument.

  “I mean, you two sealed the deal, right?” Hawthorne asks. “Not all the way, I guess, because I’m still attracted to you, but as good as done, right?”

  I shake my head. “Almost. I thought so, but then he had to go putting his foot in his mouth again and saying he always expected me to be with him anyway. Just after I’ve bought him pretending like I can choose who I want and he has to earn my affection.”

  Hawthorne raises an eyebrow and shares a confused look with Lindon, who sits forward.

  “Look, Aspen.” Lindon intertwines his long fingers and leans forward. “We’ve all always known it would be Rafe. I mean, not that anyone would complain if they were chosen, but we all knew. We played along, but no one thought for a minute you’d choose anyone else.”

  Hawthorne nods. “You’ve always been crazy about him.”

  “Why’d you come on to me then?” I ask suspiciously. “You didn’t need to do that if you weren’t attracted.”

  “Of course we were,” Lindon snaps. “We weren’t faking anything but the idea that we thought we had an actual chance with you.”

  “Because of my ‘destiny’?” I grumble.

  “No, because you and Rafe are crazy about each other.”

  I scoff at that and turn away with folded arms. “He’s crazy about becoming alpha. He’s crazy about making sure I fulfill my destiny of serving as his alpha female.”

  Hawthorne gives me an odd look, like he can’t believe I’m this stupid. “You can’t really think that.”

  “Why wouldn’t I think that?”

  “Oh, maybe because any time one of us touched you, he came charging in? Maybe because when you went out with Lindon, he stalked you. Maybe because when Fang showed up to take you, he went bounding out of the house roaring to us to stay out of it because you were his?” He shakes his head. “Yeah, sounds like the calm, cool actions of someone who believes you’re going to be his no matter what.”

  I swallow awkwardly. “I didn’t know that.”

  “He’s doing his best, Aspen. He’s trying. What do you want from him?” Hawthorne asks. “I know you won’t tell him, so tell us.”

  “If you tell him, it’d be the same as if I tell him.”

  “Well,” Lindon says, resting his cheek on one palm. “We’re not going to have any peace around here if you guys don’t figure it out soon. And I heard that Fang is coming back in a week for an alpha challenge?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, if Rafe doesn’t care, why didn’t he just claim you fully and avoid a pack fight altogether.”

  “He said he wanted to let me choose.”

  Hawthorne raises an eyebrow at me. “See?”

  I shake my head. “But then, in the bathroom, he went saying that he always knew, that he wouldn’t let me fight my destiny…”

  “Those are just the defensive statements of a wolf too in love to see straight who keeps thinking he’s locked his woman down only to have her keep running from him.” He sighs. “You know, Rafe hasn’t chased enough women to be used to this kind of thing yet.”

  A part of me burns jealously at that. I don’t want him to have experience with any more women. I want him for myself.

  “Look, Aspen,” Lindon cuts in. “None of us want to see a fight, but if you can really look us in the eyes right now and tell us Rafe isn’t what you want, then we’ll listen. Tell us the truth, and we’ll fight for you as the female alpha of our pack, and our friend.”

  I eye them, thinking of the moments in the past couple days where we made out. “You two really are fine with it?”

  Hawthorne waves a hand. “It was a losing battle from the start. Fun though. Especially if it helped you realize faster that it was Rafe you wanted.”

  Lindon shrugs. “I would have wanted you, but it was obvious who you wanted, even before the picnic. More obvious after, when he showed up and your eyes glowed like he was the knight in shining armor you’d always expected.”

  “Then I have to ask, why did both of you have to get so physical with me?” I blush as I say it, and fold my arms to try and put distance between me and their answers.

  Hawthorne grins. “Well, for one, it was fun.” He licks his lips. He’s a sexy guy, he’s just not the guy. “For two, it was entertaining to watch Rafe freak out and count down the seconds till he arrived. We both knew when you came back that you were his territory. That we never really had a chance.”

  “So you’ve all been tricking me…” I say, feeling slightly pissed off about it.

  Hawthorne folds his arms. “Not anymore than you were tricking us by making us think we had a chance with you. Or tricking yourself into thinking that you’d be just as happy with any of us as you were with Rafe.”

  “Why did you listen to him, when he went out to face Fang? Why didn’t you back him up then, if you already recognize him as the next alpha?”

  “One, he told us not to,” Lindon says. “Two, we knew it could end in a mate challenge, and we really didn’t think you’d want anyone but Rafe taking that for you.”

  “Yup,” Hawthorne agrees.

  “Didn’t you notice?” Lindon asks. “Your pheromones only happen when he’s around. Honestly, it’ll be a relief when they turn off. So if you want Rafe, you should probably run out there and find him.”

  I blink a couple of times and look out the front window. “But…if I admit that now, I have nothing to hide behind. No reason to run from him.”

  “Why would you want to run?”

  A tear streams from one eye as I blink, trying to stave off unwanted emotions. “I don’t want a mating without love.”

  Dead silence, and the two wolves both stare at me with wide eyes for an awkwardly long pause, and then burst into laughter. Hawthorne rolls onto the floor, holding his middle, and Lindon bends in half at the middle, convulsing in silent laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask.

  Lindon looks up at me, trying to breath, nearly teary eyed from whatever he finds so hilarious. “Oh, Aspen, that’s priceless. You thought he didn’t love you?”

  I blink again, wiping the last of that one rogue tear away with my hand. “Is that so weird? After all, he’s never said it.”

  “We’re wolves,” he says, waving a hand. “I mean, if he hasn’t said it a million times in the way we usually say it, then I don’t know what else is true in
this world.”

  “What?” I ask.

  “Maybe you were too isolated from the pack,” Hawthorne said. “Maybe you bonded too much with the human world when we came to college, and I’m sure Fang didn’t help, but did you ever hear Rowan say he loved anyone?”

  I bite my lip and think about it, trying to remember. I don’t think I do recall that. “No.”

  “But did you ever doubt that he loved us? That he loved Rafe?”

  “No, but that’s not the kind of love I’m talking about…”

  Hawthorne waves a hand, cutting me off. “Well, we’re just saying it’s not really in Rafe’s vocabulary. Maybe he should have shown more in actions, before you left. Maybe he, like us, didn’t realize how much pressure you were feeling. Maybe he did take it for granted that you were meant for him. But still, since he’s been back, I’ve seen nothing but the obsessive kind of love that I hear Rowan showed for River.”

  “None of us got to see that,” I say.

  “That didn’t stop us from hearing about it. Especially those of us who were his sons by other females. That love was legendary. I don’t think Rowan was ever capable of the same thing after she was gone,” Lindon says.

  “And I don’t think Rafe would be capable of it if he lost you,” Hawthorne says.

  I swallow, my throat suddenly dry. What they say makes sense. Maybe Rafe being raised by a stubborn, non-verbal father made it hard to know what I would want from him romantically. Especially if even the love between his mother and father was not the kind where anyone says ‘I love you’. I’m not sure where I got that that was important. I just know I longed for it.

  “I still want him to say it,” I say stubbornly.

  “Then ask him,” Hawthorne snaps. “You already know the answer though, if you think about it.”

  I do. The cooking, the protection, the possessiveness. The fact that the only time he brought up the fact that I was meant for him was when he was either worried or insecure, or certain that I wanted him.

  And the last thing I screamed out to him was that I didn’t know if I wanted him. “I’ve made a mistake,” I murmur, wrapping my arms tighter around myself. “I think I hurt him.”

  “Well, luckily, unlike you he probably isn’t running half-way around the world for two years, so it won’t be that hard to find him and correct things,” Lindon says. They sit next to each other, looking friendly and handsome and just like they always have.

  But his words make my breath catch in my throat. What must that have felt like? To make a mistake like that, leave something unsaid or unfelt, and have to wait so long to finally have them come back and give you a chance to make it up to them.

  I should be glad Rafe always felt I was destined for him, otherwise why would he have ever waited for such a stubborn fool? And how could I have kept convincing myself that all of his actions meant nothing without those few little words that other people find so easy to say.

  Fang could say them no problem. But Rafe? Wouldn’t even think about it. It wouldn’t even occur to him.

  “Well, what are you waiting for?” Lindon asks, slinging an arm around Hawthorne, who laughs in response. “Go get him.”

  I start toward the door. “Will it be safe?”

  “I would think so,” Lindon asks. “We can keep an eye out, but just sniff and see if there are any wolves around when you go out. I’m sure Rafe’s not far. After all, he would want to be close enough to be able to come back and check on his precious future mate.” They laugh at that, but I don’t know if it’s funny. It’s probably only funny because he’s so obviously enamored to everyone but me. I growl at them once and then fling the door open. I breath deeply in.

  “Nothing,” I say.

  “Then go get ‘em, tiger,” Hawthorne quips. Then, as they laugh once more, I decide I don’t care about making sense of those two goofs. I need to go find my alpha, my love.

  Chapter 7

  When I step outside, at first all I smell is the light breeze, the scent of dying leaves, the emissions of cars in the distance. But by the time I’m out on the sidewalk in front of the house, my nose picks up something else. Something chilling. My ears perk up.

  Rafe’s scent. Very faint, and something else too. Is that blood? I nearly transform into my wolf that instant, but then I realize that it could be a trap, and I may want my clothes on if I have to talk to anyone unsavory.

  I don’t have time to call Lindon and Hawthorne. I’ll be careful and look into it, and call them if I need them. Perhaps Rafe was careless and scratched himself on something, and is still just out running it off, spreading his scent around. I sniff again, deeply, and judge the direction it’s coming from. There’s a field across the street from the mansion, and I look both ways and then run across to it.

  I jump the fence cautiously and walk out amongst the overgrown grass and weeds, seeing nothing out in front of me. “Rafe?” I call quietly.

  No one answers. I sniff again and take a few steps in the direction of his scent. Woodsy. Pine and a bit of cinnamon and a bit of rain. Delicious, but right now, it brings only anxiety to my nose. I can sense anxiety. His or someone else’s. And I can definitely smell something else. Something, human? Well, humans won’t pose a threat to me. They’d have no reason to, and if they did try something, I’d just transform. For all I know, Rafe is just threatening some humans who had the lack of sense to come smoke out in this field, a little too close to our territory for Rafe’s comfort.

  Now I can hear voices. I get down in the grass and creep forward, staying where they can’t see me.

  “How do we get her out here?” One asks in a low voice. “He’s incapacitated, but how do we alert the bitch without the dogs realizing?”

  I stifle a growl at the names. He has no right to talk about us that way, like we’re something animal, below him, when in reality we’re everything he is and then some. I can’t see them yet, but I crawl a little closer.

  “Yeah, Fang said if we delivered today, we’d get a bonus. But he said that we wouldn’t be able to take the whole clan.”

  “Such weirdasses,” the other guy says. “I’m about ready to be done with the whole thing. That guy doesn’t look nearly as out of it as he should be.”

  My hackles rise as I get realize they are probably talking about Rafe. My protective instincts go on overdrive. Yup, he’s my mate. It’s time to just accept it. Because the bloodlust is rising in me, telling me I’ll kill anyone who has harmed him without hesitation. I resist the change, knowing I don’t want whatever happened to Rafe to happen to me. Probably a tranquilizer gun. Normal bullets won’t hurt us much, we heal too fast. Knives can be dangerous, because we can’t regrow certain things, but few humans seem to think a knife is a better idea than a gun.

  I look back at the house. I’m still a hundred feet from the perps. Would I have time to call Lindon and Hawthorne before all hell broke loose?

  Fang was smart to send humans. They aren’t bound by the tribunal, though there’ll be hell to pay when the tribunal finds out humans were told about us. Plus, Rafe wouldn’t have scented them as suspicious, as most humans are safe. Just when I was thinking I had overestimated Fang, he proves himself as just as smart and cunning and underhanded as I had initially expected. I guess the best way to handle this is by being straightforward. No need to start a fight, no need for the others to get hurt if these guys feel too threatened.

  I stand up, put my hands in my pockets, and walk toward them casually. When I’m close enough for them to hear me rustling the brush, they both look up. Both are rangy and skinny, one with reddish brown hair, and one with the same hair but balding. Brothers, maybe? They have hard, thin faces, and seem like they haven’t seen or given a lot of kindness in life.

  “Who are you?” The older one calls, sounding panicked. “Stay where you are until we identify you.”

  “I’m who you came for, probably,” I say. “And you’ve hurt my mate.”

  The younger one spits and gives me a leering gr
in. “From what I hear, if that was true, we wouldn’t be here.”

  “Did Fang tell you that if anyone finds out you know about us, you’ll be killed?”

  The older one snorts and the younger laughs a cruel laugh. “Honey, we don’t plan on anyone finding out. So why don’t you just go on and worry about yourself and not us now.”

  I swallow and try to keep my cool. I shrug at them. “What do you want?”

  “You,” the older one says. “You come with us, we let him go.”

  I eye them suspiciously. I know damn well that once they have what they want, they could kill him or maim him, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. “I don’t believe you.”

  The younger one grins and levels a rifle at me. “I could shoot you now.”

  “And I could turn into an unstoppable feral beast and tear you to pieces,” I say, hoping my bravado holds out. After all, they could tranquilize me like they did Rafe and I could end up going down. But at least I won’t be surprised. Rafe, in his grief and his frustration, probably wasn’t paying as much attention as he should have. But that’s okay, this time I’ll rescue him.

  I just have to figure out how.

  “I can see you’re getting up to something in that pretty little head,” the older one says, taking a minute to spit to the side. I glare, hoping he’s being careful not to hit Rafe. If he disgraces our future alpha like that, on top of everything else he’s done and threatened, I’ll make sure he begs for his life while I skin him alive.

  “I’m not afraid of humans. Even ones sent by Fang,” I say.

  He sneers in response. “Well, you should be afraid of me, honey.”

  I take a step forward, staring them down, hoping they won’t shoot. I need to see Rafe, need to know he’s okay. His scent wafts over the tall grass, but what if they just have his scent somehow? Okay, even to me that seems a little out of the realm of possibility.

  “Let me see him,” I say.

  “Sure,” the older one says. “As long as you realize that the second you get within reach of us, you won’t be getting out.”