Rancher Bear: BBW Bear Shifter Romance (Bear Haven Book 2) Read online

  Bonnie shook her head again, more violently this time. Then she winced because the motion made her foot twist slightly and that still hurt. Maybe she’d injured it worse than she thought.

  Jesse stroked her cheek. “Stubborn little wildcat.”

  She flushed, hating how easily he affected her. “I don’t want it to affect our friendship. I don’t want her mad at me for not telling. I don’t want any more stress right at this moment. Not now.”

  Her voice broke on the last words, and she pushed against his chest, trying to get back on the ground. She didn’t need to be close to this dangerous man right now.

  “Hush, wait,” he said, pulling her in and ignoring her struggles as he held her tight against him. “I’ll get you back. Shh. It’s okay.”

  Her heart pounded as she sank in against him and rested in his warmth. The panic in her, the loneliness, all of it seemed to subside as he stayed in the rain with her and held her.

  A loud boom sounded overhead. “We’d better head out,” he said.

  “Okay,” she croaked, still keeping her head bowed and her eyes averted.

  He reached down and tipped up her chin with one calloused hand. “Were you crying? What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head. “That’s ludicrous. I’m from New York. A little busted ankle isn’t going to ruin me.”

  He laughed. “I know. But it seems like something upset you. You didn’t exactly look happy when I saw you lying there staring at the sky.”

  “I felt peaceful,” she said. “It was just before that when I felt mad.”

  He just listened quietly, keeping those huge, reassuring arms around her.

  “I guess when I realized Seth really isn’t coming. That everyone is right and he doesn’t care like I thought he did. And if he doesn’t, nobody does.”

  “Now wait just a minute,” Jesse said. “Your friends care, your family—”

  She waved a hand. “You don’t know my family. I do have good friends. But I mean, someone to care for me… like that.”

  She felt a blush heat her face and turned in against him, not wanting him to see it. But he seemed to understand her need for privacy and didn’t push her harder at that moment.

  Instead, he called for Maple, gesturing for the horse to come forward. She nickered and then did as he asked, coming over so Jesse could stand with Bonnie in his arms and walk over to her.

  He helped her onto the saddle, sitting with both feet over one side, and then swung up behind her in one graceful, strong movement.

  Jesse was somewhat like the rain. Bothersome, catching her when she least expected it, but also clarifying and cool and calming. Her rainstorm on a cloudy day.

  Jesse situated her in front of him and then started the horse moving. It sped up to a slow trot that carried them back toward the trees.

  He was good with animals. Perhaps that’s why he could handle Maverick so well.

  “I’m going to kill my stupid brother when I get back,” he said. “Though I promise you he’s just shortsighted. He wouldn’t ever want you to get hurt. Still, he’s not getting away with it. He went too far this time.”

  “I’m just glad someone came for me,” she said. She wouldn’t say what her heart was begging her to. That she was glad he had come.

  “Anytime,” Jesse said, keeping the horse calm and moving as they entered the woods and the trees shuddered around them, dropping huge plops of water from overhead and trying to startle the horse.

  But Jesse’s calming presence was enough to keep things okay.

  “I’m sorry for what I said. When we kissed in the barn, I mean.”

  “It’s okay,” Jesse said. “I should have been more patient. I didn’t realize how much you were going through.”

  Bonnie laughed. “You’re very patient. I can tell. It’s just, when you’ve been thinking you were meant for someone your whole life, it’s hard to let it go.”

  Jesse was quiet, almost as if he were waiting for her to say something, but she only shook her head with another resigned laugh.

  “Anyway, you don’t need to hear about this. I’m just going to rest now, if that’s okay.”

  Jesse nodded, and Bonnie closed her eyes for a moment. For the first time, in Jesse’s arms, she felt totally safe and accepted.

  The thought bothered her more than it should have.

  * * *

  Jesse had held his breath, wondering if she was possibly going to say what he’d been hoping she’d say from the minute he met her. That she was done with the bastard who kept hurting her.

  But she hadn’t. She’d simply wanted to rest, and after the day she’d had, he could appreciate that.

  Still, he wanted to go track the bastard down for making her cry. He’d assumed she wasn’t that into the man, based on how normal she’d been acting since she came back after the breakup. He’d thought he could just move in now that the other man was out of the way.

  But it was more complicated than he’d thought. Even if being out in the rain had made things a little clearer for her.

  Jesse didn’t want any woman to feel alone and unprotected, but if that was what it took to see the truth so she could let a good man in who would protect her, then so be it.

  And he’d be there to rescue her whenever she needed it. Come hell or high water. He wasn’t the smartest of his brothers; that was Shane. And he wasn’t the roughest; that was Maverick. But in his own way, he was the strongest. The most even-keeled. The most patient.

  All of these things could help him win Bonnie, he hoped.

  When they got back to the ranch, Ruby came running out to meet them, Shane following right behind.

  “Oh my gosh, Bonnie! What happened?” Ruby cried out, running up to the horse and coming to a halt as Shane pulled his mate back against his chest to give the horse room as Jesse carefully dismounted with Bonnie in his arms.

  “She’s okay,” Jesse said. “Just fell off a horse.”

  “Did not!” Bonnie piped up, sitting up in his arms. “I was trying to remount her and the thunder made her run. I fell on my ankle.”

  Jesse set her gingerly down to test it, and when she winced, he scooped her easily up again. “I’m taking her inside to deal with the injury.”

  “I can do it,” Ruby said, coming forward.

  Shane put a hand up. “Jesse’s got it. He has some first aid training. Why don’t you let him take a look and you and I can wait downstairs and see if there’s anything they need us to go to town for.”

  Bonnie nodded. “I know you can’t stand the sight of injuries, Ruby. I don’t want you fainting on me.”

  Ruby let out a sigh. “I wish I was all medical like you, Bon. Do you want me to come with you, though?”

  “No, let Jesse get me settled and my foot wrapped, and then he’ll call you up.”

  Ruby nodded and stepped aside so Jesse could walk with his small burden to the front door.

  He hadn’t known Ruby was so sensitive to blood or bruises, but he guessed it made sense. Shane wouldn’t step between his mate and her friends over nothing.

  “I’m sorry you have to keep carrying me,” Bonnie said.

  “It’s becoming kind of a habit, isn’t it?” he teased gently as he carried her up the stairs to the second floor of the lodge. He walked down the hall to her bedroom, knocked even though no one was in there, and then pushed open the door with his foot.

  He set her on the bed inside.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, looking up apologetically. Her red hair was waving slightly now that it was damp, and her bright-green eyes were glowing, either from pain or stress. Or maybe something else, but he didn’t dare hope for that.

  Instead, he made sure she was situated and walked to the first aid closet and grabbed gauze and tape.

  He sat on the bed next to her, pulled up her jeans, and pulled off her sock, ignoring her quiet gasp at his touch, and ran his finger over the grazed skin of her ankle. It would definitely bruise, but it looked to be already healing.

>   “It’s going to be fine,” he said. “I’m just going to tape it for support in the meantime.”

  “Okay,” she said, leaning back to get comfortable while he did it.

  Damn, she had a beautiful body. Jesse had to work hard to keep his focus on her delicate little foot as he worked.

  He decided to ask her questions to keep his mind focused on anything but the sweet, floral scent in the room that was all her. “Why did you say sorry when I set you down?” he asked.

  “Oh, that,” she said. “Because I’m heavy.”

  His eyebrows shot up and he couldn’t resist looking at her. She had to be joking. “You? You’re tiny.”

  She gaped at him. “I’m not tiny!” She shoved at his shoulder playfully. “You’re the only man who would say that, and that’s because you’re an absolute beast.”

  “I am if you want me to be,” he said, giving her a grin that was so infrequent it almost seemed it was stretching his face. But it also felt good, natural, and when she took in the warmth of his smile, her whole face seemed to slacken in shock.

  Then she contained herself and fidgeted with her hands in her lap as he finished the wrap and used tape to secure it.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll be fine now if you want to send Ruby up.”

  He frowned. He didn’t want to send Ruby up. He wanted to take care of her himself. But she wasn’t his. Not yet.

  Too bad looking at her, her gorgeous red hair in soaked disarray, her skin still dewy from rain, and her eyes glistening like the most beautiful foliage on a sunny day, he suddenly felt his stalwart patience abandon him.

  He wanted her.

  Now.

  Here.

  He turned away and faced the door, steeling his resolve to leave. He had to be careful. He had to—

  He was cut off as he felt her soft hand turning his face as her lips caught his for a gentle kiss. It was soft, delicate, just like the touch of rain on summer grass. He breathed into it and took her mouth deeper, and she sighed slightly against him before pulling back.

  Tension hung in the air between them, electric and crackling, like the feeling just before lightning strikes.

  He stood abruptly. “Thank you,” he said stiffly.

  She giggled. Actually giggled. A magical sound that made him instantly hard and even more tense than he already felt. He had to get out of here, now.

  “No, that was to thank you, silly,” she said. “For coming to rescue me.”

  “Of course,” he said. “I wouldn’t have done anything different.”

  She nodded. “Get Ruby.”

  He stared at her.

  “Please.”

  He gritted his teeth. Why did his body seem so insistent on staying? But with a little more effort, he got himself moving, walking toward the door.

  When he stopped just before exiting, he turned back for one more look at her, curvy and beautiful and needing someone to help her change out of her wet clothes.

  That had to be Ruby. It couldn’t be him. If he did it, he’d help himself to his sweet mate’s curves and ruin everything by going too fast.

  No, if she was going to realize Seth wasn’t the man for her and Jesse was, then she had to do it on her own. And not feel like Jesse had pushed her.

  So with a silent nod to the woman he was already coming to love more than his own life, he left.

  Chapter 4

  Bonnie was quiet as her friend helped her change and get dried off. She was still overwhelmed from her time alone in the rain and her realizations about Seth and what that meant for the future.

  “I’m so glad you’re all right,” Ruby said, gently pulling warm sweats over Bonnie’s now dry legs. “And that Jesse was able to find you.”

  “Me too,” Bonnie said.

  Ruby pulled back and studied her friend. Her cornflower-blue eyes were so obviously concerned that Bonnie fidgeted, not knowing what to say.

  “You seem sad,” Ruby said. “And that’s not like you. I’ve seen you deal with the worst family in the world for years and not look this sad. What’s getting to you?”

  Bonnie sighed and adjusted her pillow so she could rest against the headboard. She looked up at the ceiling and fought back the tears that threatened to come again. “What am I doing with my life, Ruby?” she croaked out against a tight throat. “I’m waiting here on a ranch for a man that’ll never come. That never cared enough. When I was out there in the rain alone, I realized it. Seth and I have broken up before, but I’ve never left him. I guess a part of me thought he’d break everyone’s expectations and come running after me.”

  Ruby nodded somberly, not a trace of judgment on her pale, beautiful face.

  “But he won’t. He’ll wait for me to come crawling back. Because we were meant for each other. Because our families wanted it. Because he’s all I’ve ever had.” She swiped at her eyes angrily. “You know, he can be a good friend at times. He’s just… such a terrible lover.”

  Ruby nodded again, tucking blond hair behind her ear. Bonnie had always envied Ruby’s pale hair, compared to her own carrot-y red. Seth had called it blinding. But with Jesse, Bonnie felt beautiful. With Jesse, she felt all the things she’d long given up on feeling.

  “Do you know we haven’t even made love?” Bonnie asked, looking timidly up at her friend through lowered lashes. “I’ve tried to initiate a few times, but—”

  “Bonnie, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to say,” Ruby said hesitantly, but Bonnie held up a hand.

  “And I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being a grown woman who can’t enjoy everything life has to offer.” She twisted her hands in her lap and looked out the small, rain-soaked window to her left. She could see the ranch and the mountains in the distance. “Maybe I’m done with Seth.”

  Rain pattered against the glass, puncturing the silence as Ruby considered her words. “I wouldn’t blame you.”

  Bonnie’s head snapped up. “But then again, my family—”

  “For goodness sakes, Bon, stop living for your family. They won’t give a rat’s ass if you’re unhappy, so live the way you want,” Ruby spat. “Ever since I’ve known you, I’ve seen you cow to them. But now that you’re coming to see how unhappy you are, I can’t just keep my mouth shut. Leave his ass.”

  “I did,” Bonnie said softly. Truthfully, she still felt like a bad person, like she was breaking all the rules. And she was.

  But things were more complicated than Ruby or anyone else, even Jesse, realized. For shifters of her species, going outside the breed was unthinkable. And there were very few of her kind left to procreate with.

  And she was supposed to keep the line going, not step out of line with a hot bear shifter when there was every possibility they would never reproduce.

  Even if something inside her said he belonged to her and things would be okay. But she had to think about more than herself and her wants. At least for now.

  But truthfully, if Seth came for her, she’d have to go with him. It was just how things were. It had been promised a long time ago. But she wouldn’t run back to him.

  “I’ve seen the way you look at Jesse,” Ruby said softly, a small smile playing at the corners of her red lips. “Maybe you could explore something there. Since you’re here anyway.”

  Bonnie grinned, feeling guilty at how happy the thought of that made her. “I don’t know.”

  “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Ruby continued, looking hopeful that Bonnie wouldn’t bolt or stop listening.

  Bonnie knew she’d frustrated her friends by being stubborn over the years, by not listening to them about what they wanted to say about Seth.

  “I know,” Bonnie said. “How do I know he doesn’t just want to save the land?” Ruby looked at her guiltily, and Bonnie nodded. “Yes, I know about that. And I appreciate that you haven’t tried to pull me and Harmony into it.”

  Ruby shrugged. “Not that I’d mind if my friends came out to Montana to live on the most beautiful piece of land on e
arth with me. But I just want you to be happy.”

  Bonnie nodded. “I know.” The rain was starting to lighten up, and she could see rays of sunlight starting to penetrate the cloudy darkness. “Being happy is complicated sometimes.”

  “Or sometimes it’s as simple as taking what’s right in front of you. Just under your nose.”

  Bonnie laughed. “You just want me to fall in love with him after rescuing me, like you did with Shane.”

  “It’s a little bit hot, right?” she asked. “Being rescued by a big, beautiful Montana cowboy.”

  Bonnie grinned. “A little bit, yeah.” She flopped on the bed, feeling heat rush to her face. “Fine, a lot, if I take Seth out of the picture.”

  “Then take him out,” Ruby said. “He’s gone.”

  “It’s not that simple,” Bonnie said. “There are rules—”

  “What do you mean?” Ruby asked, raising an eyebrow. “Rules?”

  Bonnie’s lips tightened. “Nothing.” How could she explain to her friend that matches were set up from birth for her species? A species that even most shifters weren’t aware of.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with you and Seth. I’ve never understood it. Never pretended to. But I do think you’d regret not taking a chance to explore things between you and Jesse.”

  “Probably,” Bonnie agreed.

  “And sex!” Ruby exclaimed, putting a hand on her chest. “Girl, you don’t know what you’re missing. It can be so hot, so amazing.”

  Bonnie let her mind flood with the inappropriate thoughts she’d been having of Jesse. Jesse naked, Jesse arching, throwing his head back, eyes alight with pleasure. Jesse over her…

  Damn, she could scent her own arousal. She was lucky Ruby wasn’t a shifter.

  “Maybe…” Bonnie trailed off, thinking about it.

  Ruby grinned. “Maybe you should let yourself live a little. Don’t think too hard about it. Just let yourself feel.”

  Bonnie nodded. “I just don’t want to lose control.”

  Ruby leaned in, a stern look on her otherwise soft face. “No offense, Bon, but it’s about time you did.” Then she stood. “I’m going to go get dinner and bring it up here to eat with you.”